Need a Wedding Officiant? Can a Family Member or Friend Perform Your Wedding?
Posted: Tuesday, August 18, 2009
by Barbara Eberle
The Ministerial Seminary of America, LLC
There is a new trend occurring regarding the performance of weddings. Couples are interested in having their beloved Grandfather, their best friend or another family member perform the ceremony. Questions surrounding its legality can provide confusion. Is it legal? How can you be certain?
In most states it is legal. Not only can you save money (officiants are very expensive) but you can create the ceremony you want, without restrictions. However, marriage is a legal contract and it is absolutely essential that you make sure that your friend or family member is legally allowed to solemnize the marriage.
If you find out that any ordained clergy can perform the service, then you will want to obtain an ordination certificate for your candidate. You can then choose an online organization that you feel is valid. To determine the validity of an organization, use the following criteria:
1 - See if the organization has a contact phone number and call it. If someone picks up the phone or calls you back, it is a good indication that it is not a scam.
2 - Ask if they have a physical address. While it is not necessary to be a legal entity, it indicates further authenticity of the organization.
3 - Ask what other spiritual services they offer. If they have community gatherings, etc., then it is further validation that they are authentic.
4 - Make sure they are upfront about the laws regarding solemnizing marriages by state. If they say they are legal in all states, or that they can customize a package for each state, beware. For example: Virginia will not authorize clergy to perform weddings unless the clergy member has an active ministry and a congregation. Simply obtaining an online ordination certificate will not fly in Virginia. Other states that have similar requirements include New York City, Connecticut, and Alabama. Las Vegas requires ministers to have an active congregation while some states will accept online certificates as long as they are accompanied by an authorization letter from the organization where you obtain your certificate. Do your homework and call the county clerk.
5 - Make sure your beliefs are in alignment with the organization through which you obtain your certificate. Are they interfaith in nature, Christian, dogmatic or secular? Which organization feels right to you? Remember, you will be in their data base, so be careful who you choose.
6 - Are there hidden costs - such as, they will send you a letter of authenticity, but for an extra charge?
5 - No church can give you authority "from the state" to perform a ceremony. If they say that they can grant state authority, beware. They can authorize you through their organization, but the state is a separate issue.
8. Look for a simple site that is not cluttered with so much information that you get sidetracked into ordering something that you cannot use due to misinterpretation.
Once you have made it through the hoops -- (1) reviewed the laws (2) ordered and received your certificate (3) registered with the county (if required), you can perform the ceremony. Most counties issue three copies of the marriage license--one for your records, one for the couples records and one to send back to the county. If the county fives you one copy only, make two xerox copies--one for your records and one for the couple to keep.
If you do perform a wedding ceremony for a friend or family member, know that you have been honored to minister to them in this way. You will be providing a treasured memory for them as well as for yourself!
Rev. Barbara S. Eberle, MA, OMC is the Managing Member of The Ministerial Seminary of America, LLC and is dedicated to the ordination, support, training and education of independent, interfaith and nondenominational ministers. The Seminary supports individuals who wish to minister to family and friends by way of performing and solemnizing wedding ceremonies.
http://www.performawedding.com
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